Got Those Moves Like Jagger

Ha! I did it!!!  I spotted co-dependency a mile away.  And it wasn’t me!   

It was a mother- grown son co-dependent relationship with Baby Boy manipulating and leaching off kind-hearted Mama.  The oppotrunity came about to discuss the situation (yes, time and place appropriate).  It went something like this:

So, he’s a 45 year old man and you are still treating him like a baby?

Yes

Is something wrong with him that he can’t act like an adult?

Well, no.

Is it your fault that he’s got multiple felony warrants?

No. I didn’t raise him like that.

He is only doing that because you are allowing him to.

You’re right.                     

What’s so bad about letting him suffer his own consequences? 

Hmmmm…. (she almost got it and then, but her defenses kicked in)… He could get in big trouble.

And what’s the worst thing that would happen then?

He’d have to grow up.

So, you basically taught him how to be irresponsible? 

Yes.  (You could actually see the light bulb come on, I swear!  It was beautiful.)

Her husband was right next to her, interjecting “amen” and “you’re right” the whole while.  With her light bulb still on, she thanked me and hugged me.  Her husband, with this like proud sort of glow, shook my hand.  It was really cool.

Was it co-dependent of me to intervene?  Probably.  But, I feel like somewhat of a vigilante, right now.  A hero, if you will.  Just go with it.