Holy Cow It’s Howie Mandel

When I was married, we had been going to a church for two and a half years - and I don’t think a single person noticed when we left.  That’s not church. 

So, after my separation, I decided to find a new one.  The first time my daughter and I visited another one in town, we find our way to some seats at the end of the isle.  Before long, I notice a guy sitting behind us- it was peripheral vision, I suppose, because I hadn’t turned around and actually looked at him. Either peripheral vision or Single Dude Radar.  I think my new-found singleness makes my hyper-sensitive to being alone and hyper-sensitive to other single people.  Maybe it’s based in some insecurity or need to find others like me.  It’s a phase I’m hoping I will outgrow soon.

The time comes to say hello to fellow church-goers so I turn around and see this guy face to face.  And, holy cow!  It’s Howie Mandell!!! Well, not the actual Howie, of course, but a darn good look-a-like.  Let me just note here that I happen to think Howie Mandell is an attractive man.  I can say that, right? (This is so not what I went to church for, really, I promise!)

Anyway, the guy’s name was, well, we’ll call him Harry.  Harry shakes my hand and the hand of my daughter, who immediately wants to play match-maker.  She got the case of the giggles and spent the rest of the service whispering to me, trying to convince me to get his number.  (“Hey, mom, look, he’s taking notes!  Mom, he’s a guy- at church- by himself!” “Get his number.  This is your chance!”)

She even wrote on the prayer request card that “My mom should marry Harry.”  (No, I didn’t let her actually turn this thing in and no, I didn’t ask for his number.  I mostly just sat there and said “Shhhhhhhhhhhhh” to her and “Oh, Lord I’m sorry!” to Jesus.)

I guess we are both trying to deal with my newfound singleness. 

Several weeks later, we still attend and call this church our new home.  But I think we scared Harry off because I haven’t seen him since.  (Sorry, Harry.)